I’ve been called a stubborn ass before. I couldn’t blame them. To say that I was stubborn, thickheaded, and a myriad of other terms was accurate. I couldn’t see past my own view of the situation and was unwilling to consider anyone else’s ideas, perspective, or experience. I also lived regretting it in many a relationship.

Let’s take a look at the beast:

Asinus is a subgenus of Equus (single-toed (hooved) grazing animal) that encompasses several subspecies of Equidae commonly known as asses, characterized by long ears, a lean, straight-backed build, lack of a true withers, a coarse mane and tail, and a reputation for considerable toughness and endurance. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asinus

When I think of a donkey, I realize that there are some characteristics that I don’t want to be known for in this life. You’ve heard the derisive terms used with donkeys or asses. Why would anyone want to be recognized like that?

Characteristics To Think On

Most people immediately think of a stubborn animal when an ass is referred to in passing. Unwilling to learn or try, we often disparage the animal. I used to dig my heels in when confronted. Choosing to be hard is hard on everyone. I don’t want to be around people who won’t listen. Especially when they won’t listen to my correct assessment of their problem. All kidding aside, it is difficult to reason with someone who won’t listen.

As I have learned to improve my relationships, I find that I want to listen to other people more than telling them what I think. This is one of the many hard lessons I have learned, and I am still learning to improve. We like being tough and having endurance, but when pointed in the wrong direction, it is unbearable.

Stubborn in a Relationship

Being stubborn in a relationship can have real appeal. Perhaps the better word that I like to use is tenacious. I don’t want my relationships to disintegrate, thus I want that stubbornness to thrive in how I work to protect the good things that I have in them. I hold my wife each night and sway with her. Standing there, I enjoy her warmth, beauty and fragrance. We sway from one side to the other as a pleasant song plays. Even if we then collapse from exhaustion, illness or giggles, we always include this in our day. It has brought a harmony into our relationship that we want.

I find that I carry a lot on my shoulders when it comes to my kids. They mean an awful lot to me and I don’t want to let opportunities pass by that can be valuable lessons for them. That means that I have to seek those opportunities out, even when not convenient.

Regretting Our Mistakes

Too often, we regret that we made mistakes. I used to beat myself up for every poor interaction with someone. I thought I could do nothing right. Because I thought that, I was right. As I learned to honor my mistakes as opportunities to better myself, I started making fewer mistakes.

Looking for the lessons in our mistakes, we learn what we can do right. We start to see success instead of failure. I encourage you to do what I have done. Look for what you have done right and what you can change to do better. Don’t attach guilt to the experience. Let the emotion go and focus hope on the present so you can and will do better today.

I know you can do it. After all, I have done it. Choose in to make your life better and don’t be a stubborn ass.