The Ugly Feeling I Found From Procrastination – Relationship Retool

Time Music Procrastination

Procrastination, Our Friend

How chummy are you with procrastination? It is a great way to avoid what we don’t want to feel, until it is so late that it ends up being a different feeling. It was my friend for years. Now, it is now my arch enemy because I see the effects it has on my life.

Previously, I put this newsletter off until late at night before publication time. I now do it early in the week. I watch my kids put off assignments or household jobs. Why is this so common? Consider why you put off things. There is some feeling that you think the task will bring up. Perhaps just thinking about the task is already bringing up the feeling.

So today, two of my kids informed me that they needed sheet music for their practice play auditions tomorrow morning. You’ve probably gone through this song and dance before for a child, or….yourself. There would be no issue if this was a brand new assignment, but they’ve known about it for two weeks. I asked them why it wasn’t done prior and my son responded that he was procrastinating. Hallelujah! He owned it! That was a big step. Why did he procrastinate? He “knew better” what needed to be done, so he didn’t act. Denial is a nasty emotion.

The Deeper Emotions

The emotion of wanting to feel important, or of value is common, but how often can we see it in action? My son felt that emotion and then got to deal with the emotion of immanent failure. My daughter felt the emotion of embarrassment because our printer is out of toner and she must ask for help to print. She also got to deal with that nasty feeling of immanent failure.

Are you seeing a pattern here? When we postpone an action to avoid an emotion, we often feel a much worse emotion in the end.

I took prompt action to resolve the music part of the problem, but I left it to them to get the printing done. They will either succeed or fail based on how they choose to deal with the emotions they earned. The fact that they have the emotion is not bad. How they deal with that emotion will determine if it becomes a success, failure, or new life lesson.

Procrastination As A Teacher

As you can see, procrastination doesn’t help, but it does. If you learn to look at why you are procrastinating, you will find a lot of valuable information that will help you to start owning your results a lot more. As you own those results, you will find more power to make changes in your life. Those changes will lead to better results, which is what you want.

I’m not saying that you should just accept that you procrastinate and never try to change. I am saying that you should be grateful that you have the opportunity to learn from it because you are now aware. That is very valuable. That is what I do for people I work with as a mentor. I see what they cannot see and help them become aware. The ability to see is very valuable.

Mark

Mark Fincher
Chief Mentor and Trainer
Living Tree Connections