Thankful But Unsure of the Future – Relationship Retool

Thankful For What They Had

Too often, we forget to be thankful for what we have in our abundant lives. I think of what my grandparents endured as they lived through the tumultuous years after World War II in West Germany. My grandfather Siegfried (Fred) Biensfeld had been severely wounded at the end of the war and in what I consider to be a miracle was able to leave  the east of Germany and the Russian Army to the relative safety and freedom of the west.

The Russians turned him over to the British Army shortly after the end of the war and the British asked where he had family and sent him on a truck to Hamburg. Allied bombing raids almost destroyed all of the city, but through another miracle, his relatives and their home survived. I know my grandfather was grateful for those miracles.

My grandmother, Hanna Biensfeld, was a refugee fleeing the Russian advances. She left her home, where my grandfather grew up, with my grandfather’s parents and stayed for a time in her parents’ home. All of them fled together and after many harrowing experiences ended up in Kiel, in the west. Because they assumed my grandfather was dead on the Russian front, they did not look too hard for him. They had a lot of family with them, so they had support.

My grandfather regularly checked the Red Cross refugee boards for any word on his family. One day, a cousin, noted that he saw some names that he thought might be my grandfathers’ family. Once his work shift finished, he wasted no time in checking the boards. After almost two years, he knew the location of his family.

What Do You Value?

As I ponder on what my grandparents, and so many others, endured, what lessons can I learn from their experiences?

First, there was hope on the part of my grandfather. He hoped to get away from the Russians. He hoped to find his relatives. There was hope that his family had made it out of the east.

Second, despite hardship, they kept moving forward. My grandfather found employment, and good employment, in a British laundry working on the boilers. He found housing for his wife and children once they were back together. They took an incredible opportunity to change things in their lives and moved to America. He did well in America and I was blessed to know him and learn from him. I wish I had paid more attention to what he knew, but I did learn a lot from him.

Third, no one is perfect. My grandparents had plenty of flaws. I lived with them and next door to them for years. Love overcomes many problems, and I chose to love them despite their flaws. I also know now that I had plenty of my own. I have learned that comparison and judgement can kill love.

Find Gratitude and Show That You Are Thankful

In my own journey, I learned that being grateful is important to my health. I am more mentally stable, physically fit, and spiritually in tune with the world around me when I am thankful. I can hold my head up more when I have a perspective of gratitude because I want to see the good in the world. Instead of wanting to duck and avoid others and situations that arise, I am more prepared to love, serve, and respect the opinions of others.

Perhaps some of your ancestors were not very grateful in their approach to life. I have some like that too. I choose to love them and forgive them for their flaws. One day, I hope to share my understanding with them. That sounds like a happy reunion to me.

Find your thankfulness and share the joy that comes from it with those around you, and give a nod to your ancestors who might have taught you a lesson or two.

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Mark

Mark Fincher
Chief Mentor and Trainer
Living Tree Connections