The Turn Requires Work
As I evaluate my life, I often find the need to turn myself around and start over. Often I want to move in a different direction. Sometimes it just requires a minor adjustment.
These kinds of moments can be watershed times of life. Sometimes we make poor choices that lead to greater realization, such as a young person who makes a choice that puts them on the wrong side of the law. Some continue to blame others and continue in their pattern of poor choices.
On the other hand, some recognize their destructive behavior and have a real change of heart. They own their choices and try to make recompense though it may take years to do so after their mistakes.
Turn From Despair
There is another side of this feeling of imprisonment. Many people suffer from depression and despair. They don’t want to be there, but for one reason or another, they are in a place of feeling low and worthless. This can lead to major problems for themselves and those who care about them.
One person that greatly impacted my life because of his decisions in the midst of depression was my great-grandfather. John Shaw worked as a lawman in the city where he lived. I imagine that it was a good job for a man that grew up the son of a poor dirt farmer. He knew farming and how to handle animals.
One night, while on patrol, he caught a man peeping through windows. In the course of apprehending the suspect, a confrontation occurred and he fired his weapon to defend himself. The suspect died.
Distraught over what happened, he quit the force and withdrew from those around him. He eventually tried to take his life by drinking lye. His suicide attempt failed, but in the process, he destroyed his esophagus. He had to change how he ate and did so through a tube.
What Changes Bring
John moved on in his life. It was not easy, but he kept going. When my grandmother needed to divorce my grandfather, he was there for her. He and his wife moved themselves and my pregnant grandmother to California. Because of his choice to keep going, he was there to help raise my father in the absence of his father. He had new purpose.
My father told me that John never at with the family because of how he had to eat. This meant that my father did not have mealtime discussions with his grandfather. My dad knew his grandfather loved him, but it still was a missing part of his life.
The thing that I wish to point out here is that John got past his depression and was able to feel more love because of his grandson. He was able to serve him as well as his mother and grandmother. That purpose changed him. It can change anyone. The love that comes from serving others is priceless.
John went from selfish to selfless. Don’t think that I am condemning those who commit suicide. Though the act is selfish, I understand that most feel that they are serving others by removing themselves from the lives of those they love.
Choose Life And Evaluate How To Change
For those of my friends are feeling low, please know that I care. Many others do too. It may be hard to see the evidence, but perhaps it is time to make of list of what others willingly do for you. Do they provide income to support you? Are they keeping your home to help you be more comfortable. Do they make space for you in their lives, even though you may question why.
Turn to other who tell you that they love you. Be willing to accept their love. Don’t push people away, though you may want to do so. As you open yourself up to others, you will find that there is more love than you realized. Take a chance and Let Go of Defeat. You will be happy you did.
If you are looking to find more purpose in your life, Contact Me. I can help you find more connection and love of life.
Mark Fincher
Chief Mentor and Trainer
Living Tree Connections