Go Ahead. Push It. I Dare You!

You know what I am talking about. Someone says something, exposing the button. Do you push it or not? Maybe before you even figure out what you will do, someone else does.

I doubt that there is a family that doesn’t do this to some degree, but how much it happens has a major impact on the success of members of the family. That in turn effects the whole family.

We too often put the button out on display, just hoping that someone will push it so a chain reaction will happen. It is a form of self sabotage. “See, no one loves me.” “I’m not worth anything.”

You get the idea.

Criticism

Criticism is easy to recognize. My grandfather was really good at it because he wanted perfection. Don’t get me wrong, he was a very good man, but he grew up in a home and country that expected perfection. He felt that his criticism was a way of showing love, and I suppose in his own way, it was, though it cut deeply into those he loved. It was how you helped someone become perfect.

There is also the kind of criticism that has no love attached. That can particularly hurt in a family. When someone is pushing the button to hurt and feel better about himself in some way, relationships are lost.

Unless, you look beyond the criticism and see their hurt. I have family that on occasion will shove others in a way that just screams, “I hurt, so you must too!” I choose to not give in to that behavior. However, I used to…

And Sarcasm

Before I could stop reacting to criticism from others, I had to stop using sarcasm. It was the language that I used with my brother and dad. I realize now how much it hurt my mom. It was how we communicated. We saw it as innocent fun, but the reality was that it pulled us apart. It literally means to cut at flesh.

That sarcasm became part of how I talked to myself. Everything became criticism of some sort or another. I saw myself as worthless and a hindrance to others.

I think that tearing builds up over generations. Too many of us have felt reduced to nothing others in our family or those we associate with. We will often substitute our family for others who do the same thing to us, though we think that we are hanging with the popular crowd.

Though it shouldn’t, I am often amazed at how much successful people feel small and worthless. It is a human condition. The thing that makes the successful different is that they do not wallow in those thoughts for long. They choose to treat themselves differently.

What Is Your Way Of Climbing Out Of Your Hole?

I have found that being aware is my most beneficial technique to avoiding the pitfalls and getting out of the pits. When I have shoved myself into the pit, I must admit that I did it before I can really extract myself. Even when someone else pushes me in, I have to admit that I really was the one who willingly jumped into the hole. I know how to sidestep the fall.

As I become aware, I gain power. I can choose to act or react differently. Take a look at some of my other articles on this topic.

— Life Stress, Angry Words, and Finding Honest Peace —

— In Life, Peaceful Words Of Support Strengthen Souls —

Let yourself Learn to See what holds you and your relationships back. As you do, you will begin to master yourself, and make a difference in the lives of those you love the most. Don’t push, and don’t be pushed. I see your success rising.