Humor Heals And Teaches

I have learned to laugh at my faux pas over the years. Humor alleviated many an embarrassing moment, but it sometimes points in a negative way at yourself or at someone else. I try to keep the laughing to enjoy the comedy of a situation without pointing it at a person.

I try to make sure that my kids know that it is OK to laugh at mistakes, as long as they are learning from them. As a family, we had an opportunity to change how we did that. One of our children once made some brownies from scratch and instead of adding 1/4 teaspoon of salt, added 1/4 cup of salt. The result was unpalatable to say the least. The looks on the faces of those who tasted them first was priceless. The problem was that we focused our laughter at the child who made the mistake, not the mistake itself.

Today, we laugh about the measurement mistake, not the child who made the mistake. The same applies to other mistakes.

Remove Negative Emotions

One thing that I have found to be a healthy way to look at the stories of my ancestors is to take out the negative emotions that the story could bring up. I choose to evaluate each story with a perspective of love and caring. Some stories take more effort than others. When they do, I seek understanding of the person and circumstances. Sometimes the choices in the situation are just wrong, but I still forgive and look to learn.

My grandparents divorced and my dad never knew his father. I had a tough time with that and some of my grandfather’s actions, but I still want to know him and understand him. Yes, he hurt people I love, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t love him too. I have actually found humor in that dichotomy. I can laugh at the idea that his mistakes and poor choices should remove love from him. There are consequences to his actions, but love should never be removed. When I change my perspective, I see him in a light that brings love. It does not chase love away.

Choose Laughter Over Hate

I am not trying to condone poor behavior. There is plenty of ill will in life and it hurts, but our reaction is ours to own. Whatever someone else does is theirs to own, but I choose to own my attitude. I will laugh when necessary, and I will cry when needed. Expression of joy in my understanding and sharing it with others is my choice.

I have hated before, and it was nothing but a cancer to me and those around me. Too often they were not the ones I intended to hate. Loving others despite their faults is healthier.

Find the humor in the stories in your family. Forgive and look for the lessons. You will be happy that you did.

If you are seeking to understand how to let go of the past emotions that plague you, learn from Leaving Leaves.