Brittle, Flexible, Malleable – You

Do you consider yourself brittle? Are you flexible or malleable? Does rigid describe you? How about easy going? Do all of these encompass who you are?

When I started to work on changing myself into who I really want to be, I had to choose how I define myself. It is not an easy task to change years of programming. I had to assess my motivations and my beliefs. There are things that I am willing to change, and others that are immutable.

I have a deep belief and love for God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. That is not something that I allow to change. Some people take offense at that, but I ask, why do you take offense from my belief? I ask this question for a reason, and it is not a light question. As I started to make real, meaningful changes in who I am, I asked myself why I received offense so easily.

Offense Taken Or Offense Given?

Offense is something you take, not receive. That may rub you the wrong way, and if so, good! I am not attempting to offend you, I am trying to interrupt your patterns. When you perceive offense, it is your perception that is determining its reception. I have met people who purposefully tried to offend me. Taking it was easy. That said, why did I receive it? Sure, the intent was there, but did I have to receive it?

There is nothing more frustrating to someone who tries to hurt another than for the target to not show it. I recently perceived an offense from my wife. It was silly and trivial, but I chose to receive it. There was absolutely no intent on her part, yet I saw it and took it. That was a down day for me. I felt weak, and because I allowed that feeling to creep in, I found myself acting out in pain. My wife didn’t know what I was doing, as she was not at home, but I knew it. Thoughts can drive people away, and I was pushing her away.

This is where mindset really comes into play. Because I have practiced observing my own perceptions, I recognized what I was doing. I was able to change my thinking, and by the time my wife arrived home, I was past the frustration and pain. I was healing and ready to give good to her. There was no need to return offense because I no longer was taking it.

Paying The Price Of Offense

Don’t go away thinking that I got off clean. I did not. My body had to deal with the results of emotional eating. I needed to take time to let go of some self-doubt. It is not easy to mistreat yourself or another and think that once it has happened that there is no price to pay for the wrong done. There are consequences, but the sooner you recognize the mistakes, the sooner you can start on working out the resolution.

When you don’t work through the resolution, you will stuff the emotions and feelings into yourself where they will stay and fester. I have plenty of experience with festering feelings. They do harm to your mind and body. Let go of them. Forgiving yourself and others will bring a lightness that you may not expect. I genuinely recommend that you pay the price. Let the hurt go and feel the lightness that your body and soul desire. Speaking from experience, it is worth the effort. Be malleable where you need to be and resolute where you should be. Learn to see your options and choose the path of greater success. Let it go and be free.

I know that you will find peace and solace that you want. Your relationships will be stronger, and as you do so, you will trust yourself and others more.