Is Life Leaving A Sour Taste?
I’m sure you have heard of the idea of being sour on life. The axiom to make lemonade when given lemons is used a lot, but how often is it put into practice?
I have started to recognize that as you go through life, there are times when things seem to be going really well, except for that one person. There always seems to someone who has to pour rain on the parade.
How do you respond to that person or their influence? I used to be excellent at seeing him and blaming him for all the problems that arose because of him and what he did. It was so easy to point a finger. After all, he was ruining everything. Right? Things run so smoothly without the negativity he brought with him.
Seeing The Real Cause Of That Bitter Taste
There really is a problem with that one person. It is my reaction to her. She sets me off. Did everyone else around me get set off by her? Odds are that not everyone else triggered like me. Sure, others might be, but what of those who are not? How often do you point your finger at them for not joining you on the upset train?
There are times I completely jump into this vicious cycle. I don’t enjoy the end results. The results that I created, not the difficult person.
When you choose into blame, you are creating the problem. I am truly sorry for the pain I caused so many other people because I so often chose into being that person. In my life, I saw problems really well, but I got stuck on the people who didn’t see things as I did. I didn’t move ahead with solutions. In most cases, I moved into blame.
I learned to forgive myself for what I did in the past. I hope others will forgive me too. Regardless, I won’t let someone who chooses to not forgive me for past actions that I now will not repeat push me into the mud of self-recrimination and blaming others.
Life Can Have Real Meaning
Don’t start thinking that I never mess up and let someone trigger me. I am human and I make mistakes. What i do choose, however, is to see that person as a great blessing in my life. I get to see how well I can manage myself. When I don’t manage well, I take the opportunity to assess why I am not doing well in that area of my life. It allows me to sweep out the old leaven and add back the leaven I want.
I enjoy bread making. For thousands of years, people have made bread with naturally occurring yeasts in the air. Natural yeasts when left alone for too long, start to go really sour. There is a process for refreshing them. You clear out all of the old “start” that the yeast has been growing in. You leave just a little bit to be fed in a larger amount of food, (flour and water). If that fails, you start with saved leaven or create a new one and discard all of the soured start.
In life, we often need to refresh our leaven of intentions. As we find our thinking sour, we can refresh that leaven with the intentions of the leaven we want to lift our lives to be beautiful and tasty.
As you find things in your life upsetting you, determine how you will refresh the leaven.
Learn By Example
I think of my ancestors a lot when it comes to attitude and success. I have examples of those who were successful and those who weren’t . I’m grateful for the myriad examples I have. There is a lot to learn from them. When Francis Fincher decided to leave England for Pennsylvania, he was an old man. It probably was not an easy choice, but he chose to try something different. His entire family benefited from the new environment of the Americas.
My grandfather Siegfried pulled himself and then his family out of the ashes of World War II Germany. Through a good attitude and perseverance, he was able to grasp an opportunity to go to America and start over again in a free land. He made a lot in his life from very little at the end of the war.
Others failed to change their attitudes and wallowed in blame and despair. I am a product of all of those individuals. As I look for lessons rather than blame, I learn so much about my own attitude.
I challenge you to look for a lesson or two from your ancestors. I think that they are ready and willing to help you learn them.
Mark Fincher
Chief Mentor and Trainer
Living Tree Connections