In your world, do you get back what you give? Perhaps you call it Karma. The Oxford Dictionary defines the informal meaning as, “Destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.” I really do believe that what I give out does return back to me, but there is more to it than just returning to me. It returns multiplied. When I wish someone well, I receive well wishes from others, but more than I gave out. At least more than I remember giving out, but what have I been thinking and feeling? Did I want to say something nice to someone but I didn’t find the courage? Was I embarrassed? Did I still have the desire to share that message?

Did you ever notice that people can feel how you are feeling? Have you ever walked into a room and feel the emotion of the room before you ever heard anyone speak? I hope that you have recognized this phenomenon. It helps explain the multiplication of the returns. We do not always sense what we are telling people by the way that we feel and think around them, but they can sense it.

So, let’s return to the example I started with. You wanted to say something nice to someone, a compliment. He senses that you want to compliment him. He feels good about how you felt about him, so he then gives you a compliment. That is great. It happens multiple times. so you see a multiplication of the one action that you carried out. That is a really good thing going on in your life. You want that not only to continue, but you want more of it.

Well, there is an equal force in play as well. Remember that feeling of embarrassment, the lack of courage? People can feel that too. Does that mean that you get lack of courage or more embarrassment in return? Generally, what we find in these situations is more like hesitation on the part of others. They want to say something nice, but they feel your embarrassment or lack of courage, which leads to hesitation. This often leads to results that we don’t want. So what other things do we do that lead to results we don’t want?

Have you ever told yourself that you are not good enough? Have you criticized your performance? I know that I used to be so critical of myself that it continually came out as criticism directed at others. Since I didn’t like myself, why should I like others? Why would others like me since I didn’t like them?

Can you see how the multiplication can snowball and create a miserable situation? Are our problems that we blame on others those of our own creation? I would posit that they usually are our own creation. Why did I get picked on in school? I felt like I should be picked on because I told myself that I was a geek and uncoordinated misfit. What did others see in me? You got it!

If you want better results, you need to start treating yourself better. Stop the negative language my friend. You are a good person. I attract good people into my life, and you are part of it, so stop telling yourself that you are not. People who are looking for something better are attracted to those who have something better to offer. It has happened for me. I have found much better things in my life since I started listening to my friends who had those good things to offer. It is my turn to start giving those good things out. Take some time to ponder what good things you want, and if you find any of this to your benefit, consider learning some of what I have to offer. I am open to helping good people become better people. I love helping others move forward. May I help you?

Mark Fincher