Romance

What does that word mean to you? This is not a post about romance in marriage, at least directly.

I think that too often we forget to have romance in our lives that is outside of the obvious relationship between a man and a woman. The word also means,

A quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life. – Oxford Dictionary

Sometimes you may forget to allow yourself the feeling and sensation of that kind of excitement. You could have fallen into the cycle of living the mundane life of work, kids, school, or numbing entertainment. That is not to say that you are bad, only that you are not living life with a purpose that is, well, romantic.

Regret

Living in the mundane world often leads to regret. Regret at not doing more, not feeling more. I’ve been there before, but I choose to not reside there anymore. I’ve learned to see the past as a life full of lessons. Lessons that I can choose to savor, or lessons that I can continually throw a fit over. Tantrums are bosom buddies with regret. They are not my friend. Am I saying that I never throw a tantrum anymore? No, but I tend to recognize them a lot faster than I had in the past. (I have some exceptions to the tantrum rule, but they are clearing techniques that don’t hurt others, or myself.)

By looking for the lesson, rather than fighting against the lesson, you can honor your experiences in life. That brings a sense of satisfaction that cannot be found in tantrums or wallowing in the pain of the past.

I now look for those feelings I have lingering from my past so I find the experiences that I had that left those feelings. I work to understand why those feelings occurred and were left in me. Then, I let the feelings go. That helps to remove the regret, and life without regrets is awesome. I instead share what I have learned and find joy in helping others to avoid the same mistakes, or come to understanding themselves. That is far more productive than an adult tantrum.

Attractive Life

What does an attractive life look like? I’m not talking about looking attractive physically, but looking at your life in a way that you find attractive. What is it that makes that image desirable?

For myself, the attractive life is one where my relationships are improving and I am growing as a person. As I try new things and reach for greater things than that which I have accomplished before, I find more roadblocks or obstacles. Though they can sometimes seem insurmountable, those obstacles are the very thing I want in life. The opportunity to see a problem, assess my feelings about it, and then work to resolve it. It is a great joy and success system in my life. Taking the perspective that the day to day problems that we experience can be our best lessons in life changes how we look at our lives. It makes life attractive because we honor all aspects of our lives, including the parts that are not easy.

If you are looking for more on how to change your perspective, I would recommend the following audio training CDs.

Learnin Coverg to See - CD — Learning to See Audio CD

The key to learning from life is to accept that life will constantly throw you curve balls. The question is, how good are you at recognizing curve balls, and how practiced are you at hitting them?

It Happens to Me Too

I had an experience recently where the transmission on my hybrid car went out and needed to be replaced. It was a major expense, but we decided to replace it because the car was working well. We dealt with the emotions that came up over the expense and were doing well with our decision. The day after picking up the car however, the battery for the hybrid electric motor failed. That was another large expense. Once again, we had the opportunity to deal with the emotions that came from the experience. I consider that combined experience to be one of the best learning experiences in my life.

Honestly, I found a lot of emotional issues that had set stories in my mind that were causing me to make decisions that I did not want to make based on those stories. I chose to look at the experiences as an opportunity instead of a disaster. The resulting accomplishments that I got from honoring the experience have made a huge difference in how I look at my life and my expectations of it. If I had not learned to deal with my emotions in a positive and productive way, they would have caused my world to come crashing down. I can sincerely tell you that life does not have to be that way. Take time today to find the romance in your life. Learn to see romance and life will be sweet.