Are You Using Manipulation?

My grandmother was dear to me. I love her very much and I was often blind to things as a kid that as an adult are really disturbing. You see, my grandmother was really good at manipulation.

I am not saying my grandmother was evil, she just knew a method to get what she wanted and used it. It started as a child. She looked so cute when she pouted, and that became her pattern to get what she wanted. I remember her doing it, but it never struck me that way until I was talking with my mom about her a few years after she passed away and mentioned it. My mom acknowledged that she used it with my grandfather to get her way.

As an adult, I had experienced that patter with some of my own kids, and so it made sense at that point in my life, but it came as a shock nonetheless. She got the results she wanted, but at the expense of someone else.

How often do you do something similar? Are you even aware of your own behavior?

How Cute Is It?

Finding someone that uses manipulation to get their way can be heartbreaking. As I found people like that, I got very upset. Now, I try to look at the person and who they really are becoming. It is easy to criticize or complain; however, there is a better option. Allowing people to be less than their potential can give us an opportunity to care more about them. You know that you are not living up to your potential. Do you hope others will allow you space to improve and become who you want to become?

My own kids used manipulation to get things they wanted. I also found I did the same thing. Maybe they were following an example right before them? Indeed, they were.

What does it mean to manipulate? Originally, it just meant to use something by hand. That changed in the 19th century as people started taking notice of how people used others, and the term started to take on a new meaning. Now it includes intent of deception or use for oneself.

Choose Better

I find that I am happier when I look for the good in others. My grandmother had a bad habit. I cannot judge her for a bad habit developed in childhood. I forgive her for her trespasses in this regard. I’m sure I have more pressing flaws of my own, so when I choose to forgive, I too can be a little better. I know you can be better too, but in the meantime, I still care about you and hope for your better future when you have learned to see yourself more clearly.

I hope you will do the same for me. Life is trying enough without worrying about what others are thinking about me. I need to be more concerned with what I think of myself. When I do, I get a little better, but I still need to forgive myself when I fall short. You may be interested in a couple of training recordings I have available for you. I know that the information in them has helped me to be more forgiving and aware of what I am doing now.

Perfectionism is Not Perfection

Breaking Chains to Leave the Present for the Future

Whether you get them or not, consider the concept that you can break the chains of your past to have a brighter future, but you must get past perfectionism in order to forgive yourself and others.