Jumping to Conclusions

Have you ever wondered why someone does something that you know is just plain stupid? Don’t we often ask, “What were they thinking?” What conclusions have you drawn? Perhaps, we fail to recognize the conditions that led to that thinking that we cannot understand. I was working on finding family surnames in christening records when I noticed a disturbing trend for several years.

Over about a five year period, there were numerous illegitimate children born. I then remembered that there was also a time of exceptional deaths in the parish, and when I looked, sure enough, it was the same period. It was the time of the French invasion of Prussia. These people had seen Napoleon’s Army of the Republic invade and occupy their land. Major battles had been fought nearby and soldiers were inevitably stationed in the area.

Who Were These Women?

I also noted that some were from the same village. Others were daughters of men who had died. Obviously choices made by some, and others probably taken advantage of by soldiers, or others in the community who saw opportunity for their desires caused these pregnancies. I don’t know any single woman’s personal choice in the matter, but obviously, there were circumstances that led to children being born without a marriage. Suffering probably ensued for most. Many of the children died in infancy.

It taught me a valuable lesson of not jumping to conclusions. I’m one who used to really pride himself on who quickly he could figure things out. I was sure I knew what was going on in people’s heads. When I awakened to what I was doing, I realized that I judged people harshly and unjustly. It has taken me a lot of work to get past regret and embarrassment over my past behavior. I needed to forgive myself, as well as asking for a lot of forgiveness. Surely I was not alone. As I watch people, including myself, I note how judgmental we can be without realizing it.

Choose a Different Conclusion

I have a lot more compassion for these women. I don’t fully understand their circumstances, but I certainly want others to have some compassion for me in my moments of stupidity in life. There is no way that I can claim to be perfect, but I know I am trying to be a better person. I’m glad I was able to learn a valuable lesson from the unfortunate conditions of the lives of people long since dead. That doesn’t mean that they should not be remembered. They had desires for joy and happiness. Some probably never found it, but I’ll hold the idea that some of them moved beyond poor choices, or their unfortunate experiences.

When we learn to forgive and hold judgement for a different conclusion, we will find more joy in our lives, and we will also get along with others much more. I can vouch for that result. I’ve worked at Learning to See. I recommend that you take a few minutes each day to do the same.